What Happens When Coaches Make Mistakes?
When I read this article from Thailand, it really made me think about how coaches admit, respond and make adjustments when they feel their clients are not making the anticipated progress. This coach talks quite candidly about realizing that he coaches top level execs very well, but does not experience the same success with middle managers.
His lightbulb-moment caused him to rethink his client base as he rededicated his coaching efforts to the group that reached desirable outcomes. Remain an executive coach, yes, but not for just ANY executive.
Do coaches receive coaching to help them understand their strengths, assess their effectiveness and evaluate their outcomes? What happens when coaching clients do not reach their goals? Do coaches consciously gravitate toward clients they know they can help or do they cast their nets wide and understand that no coach can help every client?
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Comment by James on 7 May 2008:
Linda,
My very first thought is “define mistake?”
Is it the coaches place to have an expectation of a session outcome? If so, when does the expectation become an agenda an indication that the coaching has stopped…
When a coaching session goes in a different direction than anticipated does that mean a mistake has occurred or is there a certain perfection in the momentary or possibly permanent change of course.
We may help connect the dots we see only to have the client reveal a few dots we couldn’t see…those dots can change everything.
A willingness to experiment with an open curiosity is critical when one is not sure. Good, bad, indifferent it really lies with the client and their perspective as to what it is…and whether or not they are making progress.
I have had long term clients and over that period of time experienced a few periods where there didn’t seem to be a whole lot going on. Still, growth was happening, realizations were deeping, and change was germinating…once it took hold “oh my!”
We all grow at a different pace both in understanding and potential. Our pace changes based on who we are in a given moment and with the change that is occurring.
Picking a coach or even a client that is less than a match, during any one of these periods, may not be so much a mistake…as it is a knudge or reminder (a detour sign) to go in another direction.
Theres a saying I heard the other day…
“There are no stressful situations, only stressful responses!”
It seems that there would be a similar thought with regard to coaching mistakes…and there might even be degrees of severity.
Growth for both the client and the coach is a process right…aren’t mistakes (if you want to call it that) just part of the process?
Comment by jsibley on 7 May 2008:
Linda, sorry if this is drifting from your original question (it doesn’t address how we think of the coach / client fit in terms of the clients we look for and the engagements we accept).
A question for James (and others) - If there is a period during which “there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot going on”, are you likely to explore this with the client (some might call it meta-processing)?
In psychotherapy, for example, this can be one of the most helpful interventions one can make, both as a way of addressing what is going on between therapist and client and as a way of modeling the ability to pay attention to this and communicate about it.
It can also help to avoid the situation where a more compliant and/or dependent client stays longer than they should (without addressing the issue) and ends up leaving with the impression that “nothing much happened”, that they wasted their time, and perhaps, that the therapist (or coach?) wasn’t aware of or wasn’t willing to address the lack of progress.
What are your thoughts? Is this something you would be likely to explore with the client, would you just trust the process, or are there other approaches to dealing with this.
Comment by James on 7 May 2008:
Jonathan,
Well said…I am very accustomed to checking in with the client in that regard.
As for trusting process, I would offer that we are intrinsically a part of the process so trusting ourselves is essential. And, perhaps that trust has even more to do with understanding ourselves especially when we are engaged with a client.
I absolutely love the idea of being comfortable with the uncomfortable…
A key part of the discomfort is to understand if it’s me and myself projecting or is just part of the client’s process.
When in doubt ask?
So, really as I consider what you shared Jonathon, it’s a question of ‘am I working with an agenda or am I navigating with curiosity?’
Hopefully that makes sense…
Thanks,
James
Comment by Carol Braddick on 7 May 2008:
Great questions, Linda. I’ll work with one of them at a time. Do coaches receive coaching to help them understand their strengths, assess their effectiveness and evaluate their outcomes?
Yes, working with a coach supervisor (1:1 or in a group) - which is standard practice in the UK market - is one of the ways that coaches get a better understanding of strengths, frames, transference and counter transference - i.e., how they “show up” as coaches. Clients are great sources of feedback on where a coach is most and less effective. A client and coach can also collaborate on evaluating the outcomes of the engagement. Outcomes particular to the coach, e.g., recognizing a pattern of counter transference with clients or becoming more skilled at managing the dynamics of the “client-boss-coach” triangle, could also be discussed with a supervisor or supervisory group as a way of tracking the coach’s development and identifying the coaching clients the coach works best with. Inside companies, those matching coaches to execs need to know from coaches where they see themselves as a good fit. Execs also ask about this in selection interviews, but not as directly as the HR matchmaker.
Looking forward to working with your other questions.